Meet Groucho Marks, Cantankerous Curmudgeon

He's fluffy and lovable on the inside

I’m a miserable, whingeing, grumpy old crank. I’ve taken complaining and turned it into an art form.

Why do I enjoy complaining? It’s cathartic and soothing. Deep down I’m a kindhearted soul who only wants the best for humanity. Complaining is not only my therapy, but my way of dealing with the world’s madness.

Beneath the steely exterior, I am unfailingly polite and respectful. I genuinely care about people and am conscientious. My list of pet hates/peeves and bugbears stretches into the hundreds, but I’m on a mission to make the world a better place. I’ll be sharing stories and case studies about my grumbles and how they’ve improved life for the better.

I might be naïve, but I believe in my own counsel, and I’m fed up with so much lousy advice being peddled by so-called influencers or self-help writers. I don’t necessarily have things figured out, but I’m certain that no one else does either. At least we can laugh about the absurdities of the world together. Or you can just laugh at me, I don’t care.

I’m a huge believer in silver linings, and see the bright side of almost any situation, no matter how wretched it may seem. Humour is one of life’s best coping mechanisms, whether it’s dark humour or taking the piss out of myself.

If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like reading about such negativity – even though I want to paint it in a positive, therapeutic light – then…go somewhere else. Your kind is not welcome here.

But I will be unhappy if you do, and I tend to hold grudges for a very long time.